Yes, I know I’ve been absent and that’s been intentional. A lot has happened while I’ve been away, but I’m back.. at least for now.
There’s a lot to share, but I figured I would start with a pregnancy update.
We found out we were pregnant the day we returned from a family beach vacation in June. We got back at 12 and Ben left for work at 1. I took a pregnancy test right before he left, but waited to share with him until he got back from work because it didn’t seem fair to share such exciting news and then spend the next 10 hrs apart. It was the most surreal day of my life, and honestly I still wake up and am surprised when I reach down and feel my belly. We had been walking through a very trying and difficult season of infertility treatment and searching for medical answers for the past almost two years (that’s a whole separate post that I promise is coming eventually).
There was a blissful two-week period of telling our families and close friends all while I was feeling great and gaining hope that the morning sickness my mom so heavily experienced may have just skipped a generation. Funny joke.
At about 7 weeks fatigue and nausea hit HARD. If I was awake I was puking and if I wasn’t puking I was probably asleep. Looking back now all I remember is sipping gatorade and naps on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. That’s about what the first two-three months looked like, unfortunately.
Fast forward to our 18 week anatomy scan and gender reveal. Ben thank goodness was able to join me and we found out we would be welcoming a baby girl in February. I was totally shocked and second guessed the ultra-sound tech multiple times (poor lady). For whatever reason I was very confident it was a little dude squirming on that screen. That appointment will forever hold a special place in my heart as we were able to see our sweet girl touch her toes, suck her thumb and literally move non-stop for the 15ish minutes we were blessed to watch her. I could have listened to her heartbeat for hours.
I am now 23 weeks as I sit and type this. I have still been experiencing nausea 3-4 times a week but thank God for doctors and modern medicine because I can now take zofran and it is saving my life right now. I have been able to slowly start exercising again and do a little more than my daily walk with the dogs and I am so so thankful. I started running again which is sort of ironic because I’ve never really been a distance runner. I trained for a half marathon a couple years ago but never got to race thanks to shin splints and that’s about the extent of my running career. I’ve always been in sports and very active, but the mental challenge of distance running has always conquered me. Anyway, I start a “couch to 5k” program and it has been such a good physical and mental challenge for me along with yoga for this sore and always changing body. My belly is definitely feeling bigger lately and I’m slowly starting to feel baby girl kick.
Every day I wake up and thank God for this little miracle inside my belly and the blessing that she already is. Five months ago I was on my knees grieving the fact that I may never be a mother and get to carry a baby. All I can say is that God’s timing definitely doesn’t always line up with our own, but He is good and sovereign and in that I trust and find peace.