Good morning, everyone. As you all know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on here. I wish I could tell you it’s due to our schedule just being so busy, but unfortunately it’s mainly because I didn’t know what to say and have been trying to just survive each day. I guess I didn’t want to portray that things were going swimmingly when really, they weren’t.
I wrote this guest post a while back and I keep finding myself going back to it and reading it over and over again. Residency has been a major adjustment for me and honestly it took me a while to admit that. If you haven’t already read it, I share a little about my struggle with anxiety. I cringe a little bit even typing that because it’s scary putting that out into the world for some many reasons. I really do not like being vulnerable and I definitely do not want any “special attention” (actually the opposite of what I want), which explains why I have been battling getting on here for a while.
With that aside, yes, I do struggle with anxiety and specifically when Ben works night shifts. It’s real, it’s scary and it has been tearing me down slowly. I’m working on it and we are figuring out what it means for our life.
The point of this post isn’t to spill all the details about my problems, but to add another testimony to end the stigma about mental health. I believe that our stories really aren’t ours, they are God’s and he asks us to share with the world. I hope this reaches those who need to hear it, because a few days ago I was the one who needed this.
I’m not here to tell you everything is going to be fine, because right now I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your chest and that’s the last thing you need to hear. Get out of bed, put on your clothes and go outside. Surrender my friend, let the tears fall and the emotions flow out. Don’t let this define you for you are a child of God. You have not failed and this is not your fault. There is a solution and people out there who can help you. Now, go look up the song “Head Above Water” by Avril Lavigne and just listen. It’s been my anthem lately and when I have no words left to share with Jesus I play it and He meets me there every time.