With Ben’s last year of medical school winding down, it has me reflecting on all four years. The highs and lows, the stages of our relationship that developed during those times and what to expect if your spouse is about to start. Throwing it all the way back to year one.
To give you perspective, Ben and I met each other a week before he started medical school. So the first year we were dating and living 45 minutes apart and cramming in whatever time on the weekend we could find to see each other. What I remember most is a lot of studying and Ben figuring out his groove. Groove, meaning his study style and when/how much time he needed to put into studying before each test. He would have a big test about every 3-4 weeks.
My biggest advice to the spouse: give them all the grace (this will be a continuing theme). I never knew that a person could study for 10+ hours in a day, but trust me they can and will (a lot). They will miss birthdays, celebrations and weekend activities to study. They will have to say “no” more times than “yes”. Although you will be disappointed you HAVE to remember that it’s just as hard for them to miss out. Be positive about the things they do get to participate in or the time you do get to spend together.
STAY BUSY! I was in my last year of high school during Ben’s first year and I was very involved with different things at school. I would either have practice or a game 75% of that year, which honestly I think was great for Ben. I was busy so he was able to devote most of his day to school and studying. Was it hard? Absolutely! We would talk on the phone or text for a few hours in the evening and then only see each other occasionally on weekends.
Stay positive, it is just a season and will most likely be over before you know it. Here I am typing this as Ben finishes up another rotation tomorrow, meaning he only has one left of fourth year (wooohooo!). These are the times where you will struggle, but you will also grow. You will fight, but you will forgive and forget. These are the times we endure so they can serve the countess patients in the future.