If you have been following my blog, you may already know that I am an introvert and a number 9 or “the peacemaker”on the Enneagram. I won’t go into too much detail on my number, but to sum it up I hate conflict and will do anything to avoid it. I will either tuck into my shell during an argument or become very passive aggressive. I enjoy time with people, but mainly ones I feel comfortable around. Too much time with people (especially new faces) and I starve for time alone to recover. I share this background info on my personality because expectations are one of my deepest and strongest every day struggles.
When I walk into a large event I almost never initiate conversation with a stranger or join groups of people I don’t know. I will ALWAYS wait for someone else to reach out to me. I walk into the room with that expectation. I will literally refresh my Instagram feed 10 times to make myself feel involved (yes, because scrolling through pictures of people you haven’t talked to in a year means you’re still bff’s..I mean I know the name of her new puppy so clearly we are still close). This feeling can occur in so many situations. Surrounded by people, but you still feel so very alone. Welcome to my pity part, anyone want to join?
We only seek out people that make us feel comfortable, situations that only have a good outcome, or apply only to jobs that we feel fully qualified for. We enter these situations empty and that’s the problem. We need a fullness that can only come from God. With this fullness we can break the chains on the expectations we set on everything and everyone in our life. Those expectations are impossible so you might as well throw them out the window right now.
“We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. No, it is not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can’t ever possibly meet.” -Lysa TerKeurst, Uninvited
How would you live if you felt fully loved and wonderfully made every day? I mean come on, isn’t that a dream? Well sweet thing, you ARE fully loved and wonderfully made. We live in a world that feels like it’s constantly taking from us, but know that God is always giving back and ready to fill you up. Imagine Him as a fountain that is always running and you are a glass cup. Place yourself under Him and he will keep filling you up. When you are filled to the brim all your needs are satisfied, meaning you don’t have to seek satisfaction from people and things that will never fully satisfy you (and weren’t created to). Because you are fully satisfied you won’t set unrealistic expectations on those around you which is a beautiful thing. Now, since the fountain in always running, you’re cup will begin to overflow, which is where the real beauty is. You will then live off of the “overflow”. Why is this so beautiful? Because you can then pour into others. You are no longer drinking from their cup, but rather helping them reach the brim.
“In light of God’s deep affection, we no longer have to live in fear of rejection. The more fully we invite God in, the less we will feel uninvited by others.” -Lyssa TerKeurst, Uninvited
Live loved my sweet friends. Wake up every morning and place yourself under the fountain. Let the only one who can fill your needs do so..and live off the overflow. When you lift those unrealistic expectations off of people, well let’s just say they will appreciate it very much haha! The two quotes are from my current read, Uninvited by Lisa TerKeurst. It’s a deep plunge into some heavy things, but it’s worth a read for sure.
I was joyfully overwhelmed by the response to my post and absolutely loved reading all your comments. So, as always feel free to comment thoughts or I would love to chat further through email!