When Ben proposed I was 19 years old. I was never a girl that day dreamed about her wedding or wrote a compiled list of ALL things that HAD to be part of my special day. In fact after we got engaged we both looked at each other and said..”What do we do now?” I had absolutely no idea where to start or even a clue of all the things that went into wedding planning (it’s a lot). So I’ll start from the engagement and work chronologically through some helpful things we learned and tips for those of you who aren’t engaged yet or maybe recently engaged.
First off, breathe and enjoy the moment. There’s no rule stating you have to post a picture on social media right after you get engaged, actually I suggest not doing it. Simply enjoy the moment and each other because it’s one you will never want to forget and in the end the moment is about you and your significant other, not everyone that follows you on social media. We were camping in Michigan when Ben proposed and had zero service, so it actually worked out perfectly that we couldn’t contact anyone until the next day because the time we shared the exciting news only with each other was special to me.
The first thing to do is discuss the wedding. How large do you want it to be? Do you want it to be a formal occasion or more relaxed and casual? Are you going to want to hire a caterer for a full meal or simply have a later service and just desserts? What’s your budget? (this one is most important and could limit your answers to the questions above) The most important advice I could give, is to answer these questions solely on what the two of you want. I wish someone could have shared this with me because outside opinions caused A LOT of stress and sometimes made the planning process totally unenjoyable (which is NOT something you want). There truly are no rules. If you don’t want to have bridesmaids, then don’t. My brother and soon to be sister aren’t having a bridal party and I totally respect the fact that they don’t let the “norms” influence THEIR day.
Once you have a general idea of the main points then get to researching! I would say searching out all your options is a good idea to make sure you are getting the best price for what you want. The planning season can get a bit overwhelming, so it’s important to remember that no matter how everything turns out you’re still going to marry your fiancé! This season is also not all about planning. This time is a chance to grow with each other before you enter into a life long covenant. We learned during pre-marital counseling that when you get married all the problems you may have with your relationship or even each other aren’t going to just magically disappear. Once you’re married the problems are only going to be magnified, that’s why it’s so so important to communicate during your engagement about things, forgive things that you may have been holding onto, or even figure out better ways of communication between you both.
Once the wedding starts to get closer, time WILL fly by. The last three months before our wedding are still such a blur. Okay, let’s get to the fun stuff, wedding day. To keep this from getting long and excessive I”m going to give my 5 top tips.
- Make sure you are eating and drinking fluids throughout the day (I didn’t hardly eat or drink anything the entire day)
- No matter what goes wrong, take a breath, have a conversation with God, and don’t cry. Nothing..and I mean nothing..is worth getting upset about. This is suppose to be your day so don’t let anyone/anything ruin it.
- Don’t expect everything to go exactly as planned. Odds are something is going to get thrown at you during the day or you may just be running a little behind, but if you expect for this then it’s not near as bad.
- Eat your meal at the reception. Ben and I started walking around and talking to each table before our food was served and we maybe got to eat two bites the whole time (also, we both never had any cake). My advice would be to sit down and enjoy what you can of your meal and then if you want to greet your guests then do that after.
- Soak in the joy, support, and sweet encouragement from all your guests. One take away after the wedding that both Ben and I commented about was the feeling of just overwhelming love we felt. All of the people that attend your wedding are your closest family and friends who took their time to make sure they could attend, generously gave you a gift or card, and surrounded you both with support as a new journey begins. It’s a very special feeling to be surrounded by the people who care so much for you both.
I could share an entire book about all things engagement/ wedding. So if there are specifics you would like me to post about or even personally just with you, feel free to comment or email me! I love sharing about this season because I feel as though I went into it with little knowledge, so it’s fun to share the things Ben and I both have learned as a young couple.
I have yet to share any pictures from our wedding so here’s a few of my favorites.
Photographer: Erin Hoffman (she’s seriously the best!)
Venue: Botanical Conservatory Fort Wayne, Indiana
Flowers: BeMarried Hair/Makeup: Dancia Myers Hair piece: Etsy
Dress: Wendy’s Bridal Suites: Macy’s Bridesmaid dresses: David’s Bridal