I’ve been playing with so many ideas for my next blog post, but after this past week I wanted to share with you the many many questions that have been thrown my way all summer/ since I’ve been engaged.
This was inspired by Mary Kate Robertson’s blog (getting married young) about getting married young and the many questions that she was asked and her responses. It was absolutely refreshing and encouraging to read her post, so I thought it would be fun to post some of the questions that I’ve been asked.
Do you think you’re ready for marriage?
Well, I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t think I was ready. Ben and I talked very early on in our relationship about marriage, so we both went in with the mental question of “could I marry this man/women?” Where the misconception happens is when it seems like we have it all figured out. Neither of us have been married before, so we obviously don’t know exactly what it’s like nor do we claim to know everything it takes to have a “perfect” marriage. But, what we do know is that we love each other and we both love Jesus and with Him in the middle of our relationship we will have a very strong foundation. Now, this DOESN’T mean that things will be rainbows and sunshine all the time and there will never be arguments or disagreements because let’s face it there is no marriage that is a “perfect” marriage.
How do you deal with him being gone the months right before your wedding?
I love this question because it was something that I worried about for months leading up to him moving. Background: Ben moved to Indianapolis (2 and a half hours away from where my family lives/ I am living for the summer) in June to start his rotations, and won’t be able to come back until 3 days before our wedding (August 12th). As I was saying this was a very stressful thought for me for a long time, but has turned into something so beautiful and a time that I am very thankful for. This summer has provided quality amount of time for me to spend with family and friends before I move away. Ben has had the chance to explore Indy a little on his own and get the most demanding rotation out of the way before I move in (hallelujah!). Most importantly, these couple months I’ve really had time to grow in my individual relationship with God, which I am so so thankful for. With all this being said I have definitely missed Ben and am counting down the days until I move my things into our apartment and bring him back (8 days left haha), but have definitely been blessed with these months apart.
Are you nervous to move away/ Keep moving in the future?
First off, I am so excited to move to Indy. I think it’s going to be a great time for us to have the chance to live right downtown in a bigger city and take advantage of all the things that come along with that. I’m excited to move, but I realize it’s definitely going to be a big adjustment. New state, new school, new church and adjusting to the married life (can we add anything else?).
Ben is in the Air Force, sooo instead of explaining all of our upcoming years to come, I can sum it up by saying we could/most likely will be living in many different places. At first this was such a wild thought and was a bit intimidating, but the more we looked into the possible towns, the more exciting it got. We look at it as an opportunity to live places that we may have never picked to live or even visit. I think it will also be kind of fun to compare the difference of living in all the places we end up. To answer the question more direct, at this time I am not nervous to move, but more excited and thankful for the opportunity to do so. SIDE NOTE: considering the moving is a side affect of Ben serving in the Air Force, I think it’s a very small sacrifice compared to his service.
Has Ben helped with the wedding plans since he’s not around?
For the most part I would say I’ve tried to do most of the major things on my own, because I know the stress he’s currently dealing with from work. With that said, he has been so great in answering random questions I fire his way and encouraging me when I feel like there are still a million thing left to do. If I could give a newly engaged gal some advice, it would be NOT to stress about plans. It’s soooooo not worth it!! It’s only going to cause the process to be miserable and probably cause stress in your relationship as well. In the end, you will say “I do” to the handsome man waiting for you at the end of the isle no matter what color of table clothes you decide on.
How did you know he was The “ONE”?
This is a term used ALL the time in our society! Honestly, when I was a little girl I believed very strongly in this phrase and thought that my “one” would someday come sweep me off my feet and carry me away into a fairy tale story. That may seem a bit dramatic but it’s so true and I think it’s the mindset of so many girls today. Ben and I had the opportunity to do a few pre-marital counseling sessions with our pastor and it was so refreshing and challenging. In our first session one of the questions he asked us both was, how do you know that he/she is the “one”? There was a bit of a pause for us both and then we both stated the many characteristics that we love about each other. (How would you answer that question?) After our responses, our pastor said, “It’s actually a really simple answer, because you chose him/her to be the one!” It was an eye opening statement to me but so refreshing to think about and I knew I had to share it. People wait around for this perfect person that was created just for them to show up, but in reality there is no such thing. The process is knowing what you want in a person and when you find that “one” that holds all those characteristics you choose them to be your “one”. It’s committing to that one, staying when there’s a conflict and not running, it’s loving endlessly in times when they may be hard to love. Moral of the story, Ben is the “one” for me because I chose him and his chose me.
I could go on for pages about questions I’ve been asked, but would strongly suggest you read Mary Kate’s blog post, because she answers so many questions that I’ve been asked in such a beautiful and honest way.
(11 days to go!!!)